Thursday, November 8, 2012

Letter to Fans

Letter to my fans:

This has been inside of me for a long time, and now I feel that it is time to make it public.  When I left my old Church home in Lowell I told my pastor there that I felt as if i was about to become the "bad guy in my own story", and here's why.

 As many of you know, I consider myself to be a Knight for Justice...The Mouth Piece of the Spirit of God, in an apostate world.  I've refereed to myself as the "Worship Warrior", and in that light, I felt it necessary to uphold that image at all times, even if it meant coming across as harsh or Supra-human.

So I made my best effort to be the Pop/Rap version of what i saw in scripture, and filtered it through the American-Christianese version of a worship leader.  I tried to do a few "Hard-core Christian" tracks, and many pop songs.  I did everything i thought I could to please certain people in the collective church, and though I found success in the song, "Better Off", I've never felt that it represented the image that God gave me.

Those of you who've ever been to my shows have most likely seen that spark in my eye when God seems to take over the show, and I actually go from fun, to a little scary.  I've seen that spark turn into a fire and engulf people, but I've also seen the fire go right over some peoples' heads.  I even seen people run from it.

In the last few years I've had some amazing opportunities in the Christian music scene, but I've mostly had rejection, silence, or distant admiration from people who hear my music.  I know of maybe 1 or 2 people who came to God because of my songs.  But not many people who consider themselves fans of my music have made themselves known.  There are some things I do that get me criticized by the church.  Helmets and Poetic warrior speech isn't exactly "Mainstream" right now in CCM, and I'm no where near "Street" enough to be respected in the rap world.  To be honest, sell a lot of music, and it seems that I hear from people the MOST when I'm doing something they don't approve of.

It really seems that without the support of a huge church like IHOP, or a record label like Reach Records, its impossible to break into either the CCM market or the Christian Rap and CHM markets, while still staying true to my convictions.  I'm not much of a politician.

As time has gone by, I was approached by some folks who wanted to see me do better in the music world, by doing urban school assemblies.  The only problem is that my music is HIGHLY CHRISTIAN.  That causes me to either re-write my songs and remove "Jesus" from them, or write all new songs.

That's when all these songs inside of me started to bubble up, and they demand to come out!  But they are not the kinds songs that will make me Americas next Christian Pop/Rap Star, but they're the side of me that is VERY real.

So I started recording them.

I'm not doing these songs for school assemblies, or for those other people.  I work for God, not them.  I wrote many of these songs when I was lost, and BECAUSE I was lost.  I wanted the truth, and this is a big part of my journey.  I think that maybe God wants to use some of this stuff to reach people who kinda fell through the cracks in our society.  I also am beginning to come to terms with the way God has called me to operate, and I intend to follow Him, even if it kills my career.  It won't kill me or who i am.  This is about fulling my destiny.

My main concern is that I may start to see stones thrown by the silent community that actually knows about me when they think I've gone rouge.  Or maybe I'll be approached by more people who want to make money, so long as I can leave "Jesus" out of it.  I hear that happens a lot.  either way, i know what I intend to do, and I know what God is telling me to do.

Just thought I'd tell you all first,


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