Monday, October 1, 2012

Taking a stand and venting all at once (>_<)

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It's been a while since I've been in the studio.  You'd think that since I just released a new EP, that I'm done writing and recording for a while, but the truth is: I"M STILL CATCHING UP!  I have a ton of songs and concepts that have yet to be released before I can justify letting you all into my world as a more fully matured XERO.  It seems that I first need to build a matrix of thoughts that are not to be expected from a guy who sees himself as a Real Life Super Hero, but today I'm gonna vent a little bit.

I do not fit into your box!  I never have.  In fact, when I try to force the square peg of my life into the hole your world has laid out for me, I have lots of problems.  I have depression issues, identity issues, anxiety attacks, anger and frustration, and the list goes on.  I have come to realize that I was put on this earth to do something very specific, and when I stray from that mission, life sux!  So let me get a few things cleared up before I write another song or release another track.

1.  You don't know me.  I'm not a thug.  I hate crime and injustice.  I hate being around people who feel like the cops are the bad guys when they're the ones driving around doing illegal things.  That to me is just stupid, so don't look to me for street cred.  I don't have it, and I don't need it.  I'm  very proud of the fact that I made it out of the neighborhood that killed 85% of my peers with it's traps and lies, but at the same time, I grieve for them.  I wish I could've convinced them to listen to me then, but i didn't know better myself.  i just knew i wanted to stay away from that.  I sought for more.  There is a great need for that fight, and there other guys who are better equipped for it, like Cruz.

2.  I love knowledge, so if you want me to remain satisfied with how things are, you're fighting a worthless fight.  I write music for pastors, theologians, seminary students, seekers, and outcasts.  That's my audience.    If that makes me a nerd, then so be it.

3.  I refuse to remain a Spiritual infant.  I'm not going to be part of any "Seeker Churches".  I refuse to regurgitate what I was taught about Theology because it's popular!  I am NOT a parrot!  I hereby renounce Dispensationalism, Futurism, The 'Augustinian Grid', "Word of Faith", "Prosperity Teaching", and will NEVER again add them to my songs.  This has been a great injustice to my faith and has caused me much grief to believe in such things that simply fail.  (I also apologize for remarks and themes made in "I'll Be Ready" and "Preemptive Strike".  I am still growing)

4.  I aim to create art that inspires people to live, Love, and grow in Faith and Knowledge about God.  I want to see people be happy in the truth, not give them false hope.  I want people to look BEYOND what's been set before them, and FIND MORE.  MLK fought for more. Abe Lincoln, Einstein, and Temple Grendin fought for more.  So will I. you can watch tv all day long and watch the kids on Jersey Shore get life experiences, but I'm gonna ACTUALLY go out and get mine.  I wanna learn, and I wanna master my craft.

5.  I can't fight every fight.  I live in middle America, not the hood and therefore I will not rely on the tactic and assumption that You are a thug in the streets, and have never heard Christian Rap, and now you're impressed by what I have to say.  I won't assume that you're NOT saved.  I won't assume that you haven't ever tried to follow Christ or that once you decide to "try him" everything will just MAGICALLY work for your favor and preference.  I'm tired of this "one trick pony" style of rapping that we call evangelism.  At some point we're going to have to try other flavors.  At the moment, the only assumption I will feel free to make is that you actually know what I'm talking about, or are interested enough to look up my references and metaphors if you don't know what I'm talking about.

6.  I don't expect my listeners to take themselves as seriously as I take myself.  I am a very serious person, but I'm also quite silly at times.  Comedy has to be built on a foundation of Seriousness, or the art that is comprised is simply diminished because of that lack of an actual foundation.  At the same time, You have to be able to laugh at yourself, or you'll find yourself to be the butt of your own unintentional joke.

7.  The Superhero "thing" is not going away.  It is something that God used to bring me closer to him, and it is very dear to me.  I will never hang up the cape.  To me, it's simply a modern day prophet.  Its a symbol of everything we all want to hope for in humanity, and in some deeper level of our minds, its Christic.  I'm ok with that.

8. (I'll make this the last one.)  I am not a rapper.  I actually HATE rap and what you've all done to it.  I only rap because I somehow think it's better for getting a particular message across when I've got a lot to say, or when i'm mad about something.  I'd rather sing.  I'm a singer, but honestly, there's no indie-pop stage where i come from.  Either way, stop calling me a 'Rapper'.  I'm an artist.  I love music and I love the art.  Most of my inspiration comes from electronic music, drums, and jazzy vocals.  I like alliteration.  I kinda have a thing for words in general, but i hate rap.  If you HAVE to call me something close to a rapper, then use "Hip Hop".  Hip Hop is still cool, but rap is just a bunch of random punchlines that don't add up in my opinion. (if I hear one more lyrics about 'Shining like High Beams' or 'Two-tone' I'm gonna scream!)

I know that these statements are strong and will probably cost me a few fans, but i gotta be true to me.  this world of Christian Entertainment is driving me crazy, and I aim to do something about it.  If you actually made it through this rant then you probably agree with me on some of this stuff.  You might even be looking up some of the terms I used in my renouncing part of the rant.  I guess as long as you're active, then i did my job.  i am open to comments and discussion, but i really just want my peace of mind back.  This has gone too far for too long and now I'm taking my art back before it kills me.

Till next time....

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